The Grief of Growing

There is a silent and not so subtle grief to watching a baby grow. I love seeing Little Nugget reach every new milestone. Her face lights up with joy when she learns a new skill, like how to turn on her Linkimals herself. Her happy giggles are truly music to our ears.

However, there is loss in every step of growth. Little Nugget no longer does the “newborn scrunch,” she has moved past the 6 month “scritchy scratches,” and we are watching her learn to figure out how to crawl. The newborn onesie she wore home from the hospital would now fit a small teddy bear. Blue is Little Nugget’s color, and her grandma bought her this stunning outfit; this week will be the last time it will actually fit. I have put away her newborn rocker and traded it out for a race-car themed walker.

Each milestone is amazing, but there is such a loss knowing I will never see Little Nugget in certain outfits or not have to think about her rolling over or now starting to scoot around. We will never have the version of her that was there yesterday, nor ourselves.

I had the pleasure of getting to spend the weekend with my nieces, one who is fully in her toddler era and the other who is just a few weeks shy of Little Nugget. Watching the younger one and Little Nugget interact was so fun, as it seemed they were playing off each other and reminding each other of their shared skills (though Little Nugget was a bit of a bully). Our oldest niece is an absolute hoot with personality bursting out of her little body. As we chased her around the beach and aquarium and alligator preserve and the rental condo (and, and, and), we were all so excited for when that could be Little Nugget. Although, I am so excited for the next stages, I also miss the moments that have passed.

With that in mind, here are some ways to cope with the grief of growth:

·        Acknowledge It: it is so important to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself the space to grieve the moments that have passed while still looking forward to the future moments to come.

·       Create a Memory Book: Create something that allows you to cherish moments from the past and document those moments in time so you can reflect when it is needed.

·       Talk About It: Talk with your partner/s and your child about the growth. Reflect on the memories of when your child was younger and dream of the hopes for the future. Talk with your child about their growth, even if they don’t fully comprehend it.

·       Celebrate the Milestones: Take time to celebrate the milestones your child meets, your family meets, and you meet as a parent. Create new traditions and lean in to the celebration.

It is such a joy to watch your child grow, and as much as we enjoy the growth, there is loss. Take time to honor both.